Cocktails hold a special place in movies, television, and my heart. Whether it's Bogie drinking away his problems in a nazi-occupied lounge or The Dude sucking caucasian out of his mustache, the cocktail represents an important milestone in the lexicon of human achievement: making booze taste better so we can get smashed faster.

Please drink responsibly guys, seriously. Don't let me catch you driving or some stupid bullshit after you've had one too many vespers, because your simple ass thinks that you're James Bond. You're not James Bond, call a cab.

 

Ingredients

  • 2 ounces vodka

  • 1 1/2 ounces Kahlúa

  • 1 ounce heavy cream

Method: White Russian

Inspired by The Big Lebowski  

  1. In an old fashioned glass filled with large ice cubes, add all three ingredients, and stir to combine.

Ingredients

  • 3 ounces sweet vermouth

  • 1 lemon peel

Method: Sweet Vermouth, Rocks, with a Twist

Inspired by Groundhog Day

  1. Pour sweet vermouth over ice in an old fashioned glass.  Twist lemon peel to release oils, and rub around the rim of the glass, adding the peel to the drink before serving.

Ingredients

  • 1 sugar cube

  • 3-4 dashes aromatic bitters

  • 2 ounces bourbon

  • 1 orange peel

Method: Old Fashioned

Inspired by Crazy, Stupid, Love.

  1. Place sugar cube in the bottom of an old fashioned glass, top with 3-4 dashes of aromatic bitters, and muddle together.  Add bourbon, and twist orange peel over top to release oils.  Add to the drink, and stir until sugar is mostly absorbed.

Ingredients

  • 4 mint leaves, plus a sprig for garnish

  • 1 sugar cube

  • 2 ounces bourbon

  • 1/2 ounce seltzer

Method: Mint Julep

Inspired by Thank You for Smoking

  1. Grind the mint leaves into the palm of your hand with your thumb to release the menthol.  Place in a silver-plated cup with the sugar cube, and thoroughly muddle together.  Add crushed ice until cup is 3/4 full - add bourbon, and stir to combine.  Add seltzer, and top with enough crushed ice so it overflows out of the cup.

Ingredients

  • 3 ounces Gordon’s gin

  • 1 ounce vodka

  • 1/2 ounce Kina Lillet

  • 1 lemon peel

Method: Vesper

Inspired by Casino Royale

  1. In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, combine gin, vodka, and lillet.  Shake thoroughly, and double-strain into a chilled martini glass.  Twist the lemon peel to release its oils, rub around the rim of the glass, and place in the drink.

Ingredients

  • 1 ounce gin

  • 1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice

  • 2 ounces champagne (or sparkling white wine)

  • 1 lemon peel

Method: French 75

Inspired by Casablanca

  1. In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, combine gin and lemon juice. Shake thoroughly.  Strain into a chilled champagne coupe glass, top with champagne, and garnish with lemon peel.

Ingredients

  • 1 ounce Funyuns

  • 1 banana, peeled

  • 1 knob ginger, peeled and sliced

  • 2 tablespoons bacon grease

  • 16 ounces Surge

Method: Barney Stinson’s Hangover Fixer Elixir

Inspired by How I Met Your Mother

  1. Combine all ingredients in a blender.  Blend on high speed until completely smooth, and pour directly down the drain because it tastes like garbage and doesn’t work.