This week, by virtue of a corrupt politician from a kids' movie, we're stuffing a turkey with pizza, deep-frying it, and dunking it in chocolate. Can we make something halfway edible out of this heavily-photoshopped thumbnail? Only one way to find out!

Ingredients

Mole Ingredients:

• 4-5 ancho chili peppers, stems + seeds removed 

• 4-5 pasilla pepper, stems + seeds removed

• 4-5 guajillo peppers, stems + seeds removed

• 1 large yellow onion, quartered

• 1 Roma tomato, halved

• 6-8 cloves garlic, skin on 

• 4 tomatillos, husked + rinsed + halved

• ⅓ Cup raw almonds 

• ⅓ Cup raw peanuts

• ¼ Cup pepitas (pumpkin seeds)

• ¼ cup black raisins 

• 1 small Canela stick, broken into pieces

• 2 corn tortillas, cut into strips

• 10-12 saltine crackers 

• 3 Tbsp sesame seeds

• ¼ tsp whole black peppercorns 

• 3-4 whole cloves

• 1 tsp coriander seeds

• 1 tsp cumin seeds

• 1 tsp dried oregano 

• 1 tsp dried thyme

• ½ tsp crushed red pepper flakes

• ¼ tsp aniseed 

• 3-4 Cups turkey or chicken stock, preferably homemade

• 1½ - 2 Mexican chocolate disks

• To taste panela or brown sugar (about 1-3 Tbsp)

• To taste kosher salt

Tomato Stock Ingredients:

• 1 Tbsp olive oil

• 3 cloves garlic, minced 

• 1 ½ tsp anchovy paste

• 1 (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes 

• 3 ½ Cups turkey broth

• 2 sprigs rosemary

Pizza Stuffing Ingredients:

• 1 loaf crusty sourdough, cut into 1/2-1-inch cubes

• 1 lb ground pork 

• 2 garlic cloves, minced

• 2 Tbsp ancho chili powder

• 1 Tbsp paprika

• 2 tsp dried oregano 

• 1 tsp kosher salt + more to taste

• 1 tsp onion powder

• ½ tsp ground cumin

• ¼ tsp ground coriander

• ⅛ tsp ground cinnamon 

• 1 large yellow onions, chopped

• 4 stalks celery, chopped

• 1 Tbsp fresh thyme, minced

• ⅓ Cup fresh parsley, chopped

• 1 egg, beaten

• 2-4 Cups tomato stock (see recipe above)

• To taste freshly ground black pepper

• 8 oz Oaxaca cheese, torn into strips

Deep-Fried Turkey Ingredients:

• 1 turkey (~8-10lb)

• As needed kosher salt 

• As needed fry oil of choice

• Mole (see recipe above)

• Pizza Stuffing (see recipe above)

Method

Serves: 6-8

Mole Method:

1. Toast peppers (seeds + stems removed) in skillet. Cover with water (about 2-3 cups) and let steep for 20 minutes.

2. Broil the onion, roma tomato, tomatillos, and garlic for 5-6 minutes or until charred. Once slightly cooled, remove the peels from the garlic. 

3. In a large dutch oven, preheat 4 tablespoons of oil. Once heated, begin toasting the ingredients one at a time: almonds, peanuts, pepitas, raisins, canela stick, tortilla, and crackers. Once toasted, remove them with a slotted spoon and reserve, add more oil as necessary.

4. In a dry skillet, toast the sesame seeds and reserve. Dry toast the spices and reserve. 

5. Blend the peppers and with about 1 cup of their soaking liquid in a high-powered blender. 

6. Add the remaining ingredients and blend until smooth. Add chicken stock as necessary to aid the blending process. 

7. Strain the mixture through a fine-mesh sieve or tamis.

8. Add back to the same dutch oven and bring the mixture to a simmer, then add in the chocolate. Stir to combine thoroughly. 

9. Season the mole to taste the sugar and salt, then cover and cook for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or keep warm until ready to serve.

Tomato Stock Method:

Adapted from: NY Times Cooking

1. Heat the oil in a large pot. 

2. Add the garlic and anchovy paste, cook for 1-2 minutes or until the garlic is fragrant and the anchovy paste has broken down. 

3. Add the tomatoes and water, then bring the mixture to a simmer. 

4. Cook the tomato broth for 30 minutes to 1 hour, or until the stock has concentrated to your liking.

Pizza Stuffing Method:

1. For the croutons, cut the sourdough into ½ inch cubes.

2. Spread across an even layer across two baking sheets

3. Bake at 200 °F for 1.5 hours or until fully crisp. Let cool.

4. Meanwhile, in a large bowl combine the pork, garlic, chili powder, paprika, oregano, salt, onion powder, cumin, coriander, and cinnamon. Mix by hand until all the ingredients are well combined.

5. Preheat a large, high-walled sauté pan, and cook the pork mixture until browned and plenty of fond has formed on the bottom of the pan. 

6. Set the sausage aside and add the onion to the pan. 

7. Sweat onions over medium heat for 2-3 minutes, and add celery, and thyme. Sauté for an additional 3 minutes, until celery has softened, and add parsley and cooked sausage. 

8. In a large bowl, combine bread and meat mixture. Then, add the egg and fold the mixture together. 

9. Add enough tomato stock to fully saturate the bread.

10. Season with more salt and freshly ground pepper.  

11. Generously butter a casserole, and fill with stuffing. 

12. Layer the strips of Oaxaca cheese over the top of the stuffing. Then cover the casserole dish with aluminum foil.

13. Bake at 450 °F for 20-30 minutes or until the mixture bounces back when poked. Keep warm until ready to serve.

Deep-Fried Turkey Method:

1. Prep the turkey was a generous coating of salt on the exterior and interior.

2. Tranfser the turkey to a rimmed baking sheet and refrigerate, uncovered, overnight.

3. Place the turkey onto the frying hook. Lower the bird into a large frying pot. Fill the pot with cold oil until it just covered the bird. Remove the bird from the oil and reserve in a large bowl. 

4. Place the oil-filled pot over the heating unit outside and at least 10 feet away from any buildings or furniture.

5. Preheat the oil to 350 °F. 

6. Turn off the heating unit entirely. While wearing eye protection and heat-proof gloves, carefully and slowly lower the turkey, using the frying hook, into the preheated oil.

7. Once the bubbling has slowed down and the turkey is safely in the fry oil, turn the heating unit back on.

8. Fry the bird for about 35-45 minutes (about 3.5 minutes per lb), or until the internal temperature of breast meat reaches 155 - 160 °F and the thigh meat reaches 175 °F.

9. Once the turkey is fully cooked, turn off the heating unit. Once again, wearing while wearing eye protection and heat-proof gloves, slowly remove the turkey from the hot oil. Transfer the cooked turkey to a sheet tray or large bowl.

10. Let the turkey rest, uncovered, for 20-30 minutes before carving.

11. Serve with a generous coating of Mole and a side of Pizza Stuffing.