This week we're channeling the Always Sunny "milk steak" as we fancy up an outlandish gastronomic gag from the brilliant and jarring I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. Our hero, who used to be a piece of sh*t, gleefully recalls post-club evenings spent at Truffani's with a big rare cut of beef and a glass of water. Let this be a warning to all film & television creators: if you put food in your thing, I will make it.

Ingredients

Original Sloppy Steak Method:

• 1 high-quality T-bone steak 

• As needed kosher salt 

• As needed freshly ground black pepper

• 1 Tbsp neutral oil

• 1 glass water

Dashi Ingredients:

• 3-4 pieces kombu (about ⅓ oz)

• 1 quart water, cold

• 1 Cup (loosely packed) bonito flakes

‘Sloppy’ Broth Ingredients: 

• 8 oz dashi broth 

• 3 Tbsp mirin 

• 3 Tbsp soy sauce

• 2 tsp granulated sugar

Lotus (Renkon) Chip Ingredients:

• 1 fresh lotus root 

• 1 quart water

• 1 Tbsp rice vinegar

• 1 tsp kosher salt + more as needed

• As needed vegetable oil

Wasabi Sauce Ingredients:

• ⅓ Cup wasabi powder 

• 2 tsp mirin 

• ½ tsp granulated sugar 

• ½ Cup water 

• ½ Cup neutral oil

Sloppy Shabu Ingredients:

• 4-6 oz A5 wagyu ribeye steak

• 1 shiso leaf 

• As needed carrot, thinly sliced

• As needed enoki mushrooms

• As needed black garlic, thinly sliced

• As needed black radish, thinly sliced

• Reserved wasabi sauce 

• Reserved lotus chip

• As needed gold leaf

• As needed maldon salt

• Reserved sloppy broth

Method

Serves: 1-2

Original Sloppy Steak Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 °F. 

2. Generously season the steak with salt and pepper. Let sit at room temperature for 30 minutes.

3. Add the oil to a large cast iron skillet. Preheat the skillet over high heat. 

4. Add the steak to the preheated skillet and sear on both sides for 5 minutes. 

5. Transfer the steak to a rack placed on a rimmed baking sheet. 

6. Finish the steak in the preheated oven. Cook until the internal temperature reads 115 °F, the carryover cooking will bring the temperature up to rare. Let the steak rest for 10 minutes.

7. While the steak rests, place an oven-safe serving platter in the oven.

8. Remove the platter from the oven and place the steak on it. Pour the glass of water over the steak. 

9. Serve immediately.

Dashi Method:

1. Combine the kombu and water in a sealable container. Transfer it to the refrigerator and let it soak overnight.

2. Transfer the soaked kombu and the water to a medium pot. Bring the water to a boil over low heat. 

3. Once at a boil, turn off the heat, remove the kombu, and add the bonito flakes. Let the dashi sit for 10 minutes. 

4. Strain the dashi through a fine-mesh sieve lined with paper towels or a clean dishcloth.

5. Reserve until ready to use.

‘Sloppy’ Broth Method:

1. Combine all the ingredients in a small pot. 

2. Bring the sauce to simmer and cook until all the sugar has dissolved.

3. Turn off the heat and cover until ready to serve.

Lotus (Renkon) Chip Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 °F with convection.

2. Peel the lotus root using a vegetable peeler. 

3. Using either a mandolin or a sharp knife, cut ⅛ inch slices of the lotus root. 

4. Combine the water, rice vinegar, and salt in a bowl or container. Transfer the lotus slices to the water to prevent discoloration. Let the slices sit for 10-15 minutes. 

5. Strain and try the lotus slices on a sheet tray lined with paper towels.

6. Add a few tablespoons of oil to a large rimmed baking sheet. Coat the lotus slices in the oil and place them in the center of the sheet tray. 

7. Coat the bottom of a small rimmed baking sheet with oil. Place the sheet tray over the lotus slices to weigh them down. 

8. Bake the lotus slices for 5 minutes, then remove the small sheet tray. Make sure the slices are not stuck. Bake for another 4-5 minutes or until golden brown.

9. Remove the sheet tray from the oven and immediately transfer the lotus chips to a plate lined with paper towels. 

10. Reserve the lotus chips until ready to use.

Wasabi Sauce Method:

1. Combine the wasabi powder, mirin, and sugar in a small bowl. 

2. Alternate adding the water and oil, whisking well between each addition, until you’ve reached your desired thickness and consistency.

3. Reserve until ready to use.

Sloppy Shabu Method:

1. Cut the steak into slices about 1 inch thick and 3-4 inches long. 

2. Heating binchotan charcoal using a charcoal chimney. Transfer the heated binchotan to a ceramic yakitori grill.

3. Once the grill is heated, add the steaks and cook for 1 minute on each side. 

4. Let the steak rest for 5 minutes, then slice it into thin pieces for serving.

5. Plate the steak with the shiso leaf, enoki mushrooms, carrot, black garlic, black turnip, wasabi sauce, lotus chip, gold leaf, and maldon salt. 

6. Finally, pour the sloppy broth over the steak and enjoy.