Well folks, after years of requests, they're finally here: the most tempting polygonal pastries ever put to PC, Sweetrolls from Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I've been terrified to take on this digital dessert for years, but after developing a recipe using a buttery-sweet brioche, I think it's finally ready for the main stage. [Insert joke about stealing sweetrolls here].
Ingredients
Yorkshire Pudding Ingredients:
120 grams all-purpose flour, sifted
¼ tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp freshly ground pepper
2 large eggs
½ cup milk
½ Tbsp vegetable oil
Elder Scrolls Cookbook Ingredients:
3 Tbsp butter, melted
1 cup whole milk, warm
2 Tbsp honey
2 tsp active dry yeast
1 large egg
Kosher salt
2 cups all-purpose flour
Frosting Ingredients:
200 grams confectioner’s sugar
45 grams low fat milk
Brioche Ingredients:
510 grams all-purpose flour
60 grams granulated sugar
14 grams active yeast (10-12 grams instant yeast)
15 grams kosher salt
4 large eggs, room temperature
225 grams high quality unsalted butter, room temperature
Method
Yorkshire Pudding Method:
Start by combining 120 grams of sifted all-purpose flour, ¼ teaspoon each of kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, and whisk to combine. At which point, add 2 large cold eggs.
Whisk into a paste by wrapping the bowl in a wet kitchen towel whisk the egg and flour mixture together until relatively smooth. Then slowly stream in ½ cup of cold milk and whisking constantly to minimize lumps.
Thoroughly whisk until as smooth as possible. Once smooth, wrap in plastic wrap and chill it for at least half an hour, ideally overnight.
When ready to make, pour ½ tablespoon of vegetable oil into the cavities of a muffin tin and preheat in a 425°F oven for 10 minutes or until smoking.
During which time, give the batter one last nice whisking then using a spout pour evenly into the muffin tin.
Place into the 425°F oven for about 15 minutes or until golden brown and super puffed.
Remove from the tin immediately placed onto a wire rack to consume while still hot.
Elder Scrolls Cookbook Method:
Into a large mixing bowl combine 3 tablespoons of melted butter, 1 cup of warm whole milk, 2 tablespoons of honey, 2 teaspoons of active dry yeast, and 1 large egg then whisk together with a pinch of salt.
Add together with 2 cups of all-purpose flour and mix together until a smooth batter is formed.
Generously butter the tube cans and spoon the batter inside. Make sure to wipe up any sticky excess. Cover with plastic wrap and rest at room temperature for 30 minutes during which the batter should expand double.
Remove the plastic wrap and place the cakes onto a rimmed baking sheet and place into a preheated 350°F oven for 15 minutes or until lightly brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
After letting the cakes cool in the pan for about 5 minutes, remove the cakes from the tube cans and let them completely cool on a wire rack.
In which time the frosting can be made by mixing together 200 grams of confectioner’s sugar with 45 grams of low-fat milk and whisking together until smooth.
At which point, generously spoon the frosting on top of the cake and enjoy it.
Brioche Bread Method:
Into the bowl of a stand mixer goes 510 grams of all-purpose flour, 60 grams of granulated sugar, 14 grams of active dry yeast (10-12 grams of instant yeast), and 15 grams of kosher salt. Whisk completely together.
Place at the base of a stand mixer and add 4 large room temperature eggs. Fix a dough hook to the mixer mixing and kneading together for 4-6 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and dough hook as necessary until the dough is smooth.
With the stand mixer on low speed, add in (1-2 small pieces at a time) 225 grams of high-quality unsalted room temperature butter. After each addition crank up the speed a little bit allowing the butter to fully incorporate into the dough. This will take between 4-8 minutes between each addition of butter.
After the last piece of butter has been added and fully incorporated into the dough, crank the stand mixer up to medium speed and knead for 5-8 minutes until it very nearly cleans the sides of the bowl.
Once silky smooth, dump the dough onto a non floured surface and work into a smooth taut ball by passing the dough back and forth between each hand pinching the edges against the table.
Into a generously buttered bowl, place the dough in seam side down and cover with plastic wrap letting it sit at room temperature for at least 60-90 minutes or until doubled in size.
After 60-90 minutes, blop the dough back onto the countertop, punching it down, giving it a series of folds. Do so by starting at the top of the dough folding in towards the center and repeat working around the dough until 6-9 folds have been completed.
Repeat the edge pinching technique from step 5 then place back into a bowl covered with plastic wrap and let it sit in the fridge between 12-48 hours, or place into a well-buttered bowl letting proof for 1 hour.
After removing from the fridge, carefully remove from the bowl then depending on its purpose divide the dough into pieces. Divide in half if making easy brioche bread.
Turn the half dough onto a well-floured surface and roll it out into a rectangle, about as wide as the intended loaf pan. Then roll it up lengthwise to fit into the loaf pan hiding the seams underneath the roll before adding to a well-buttered and floured non-stick loaf pan.
Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest at room temperature anywhere from 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 ½ hours. The loaf should have doubled in size during this time. Poke to make sure the dough doesn’t spring back.
Brush the top with a beaten egg before placing it into a 375°F oven for 45 minutes. Rotate halfway through baking and tinting with foil if it starts to brown too fast.
It is fully done with a hollow sound when thumped on the bottom and when its thickest point reaches an internal temperature between 195°F to 210°F.
Make sure to allow to cool completely, about an hour and a half, before slicing and enjoying.
Brioche Sweetroll Method:
Start by generously buttering and flouring the tube pans, then divide the other half of the dough batch into four pieces then rolling into a ball before punching a hole in the center.
Place each piece into the tube pans and press down to make sure there are no underlying bubbles. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit at room temperature from anywhere from 60 to 90 minutes.
After passing the poke test, place onto a rimmed baking sheet brushed down with a beaten egg and then into a 375°F oven for 25-30 minutes
Immediately remove them from the tube pans and place them on a cooling rack to cool completely before draping with frosting.
Giant Sweetroll Method:
Combine two batches of brioche dough together then pounding out into a disc
Using a biscuit cutter, cut a hole in the center of the dough before adding to a generously buttered and floured full-size tube pan making sure to press down to remove any underlying bubbles.
Wrap in plastic wrap and let sit at room temperature until doubled in size.
At which point, place into a 350°F oven for about an hour. Loosely cover with foil when it begins to brown too quickly.
Remove once the internal temperature reaches 200°F. Remove from the tube pan, allowing to cool completely on a wire rack for at least 3 hours before topping with a big batch of the topped glaze.